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asfdagabawebwa [22 Nov 2004|05:33pm]
I am bored as hell, been sitting here for hours, bored as hell, looking for things to do. Whoever cares will be glad to know that I've gottne a greatest journal, and it's the same thing as this one, same name, looks a little different, but that's only because it's a pain in the ass to customize that thing, so i left it as it was..
1 Glorious Reward|Reward Me NOW!!!

[03 Nov 2004|04:40pm]

4 Glorious Rewards|Reward Me NOW!!!

afdasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfadfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdf [27 Oct 2004|02:45pm]
hey you guys

I don't have much to say, I want you to comment, and tell me a little about yourself...

11 Glorious Rewards|Reward Me NOW!!!

;oliasd ';S|{E [18 Oct 2004|11:25pm]
[ mood | apathetic ]

I'm updating...
my... um... livejournal...
ejaculating from my mind... as usual
listening to my fucked up roommate and suitemate
talking about weird things and laughing lots
and elijah talking about women scratching his back...
yeah... My throat feels like shit, and I'm hacking up a lung
I think I'm dying... but then again, we're all dying, ever since
we were conceived, we were dying... decaying... all that dark stuff
that I could say to draw attention to my level of sanity, but
on to lighter things, I LOVE TOOL!!! MOTHERFUCKER, eMOTIVE
pretend I didn't say that. but it will be good
Imagine is an awesome cover song and maynard
rocks... harder than anyone I know or don't
...know...this weekend was cool... I
did stuff...and me and bernadette
...did...stuff...which was...
fun...I love her...yeah
...i have two high
people reading
this, so I'll
leave you

1 Glorious Reward|Reward Me NOW!!!

ljkhguyfkuy 6yg987t09896487v ikig myig kubjhv [09 Oct 2004|07:34pm]
[ mood | PISSED! ]

So, here i am, in my room, bored as hell. I'd rather be playing mario, or talking to bernadette, but I think she's mad at me, and we have to stay in our rooms if we don't go to their gay ass dance. It pisses me off. that's pretty much all i feel right now, is contempt for the school, that's the worst rule in the world. I think instead of sitting here and bitching about it though, i'm gonna call bernadette and see if she's mad at me, while i organize my notebooks. bye.


2 Glorious Rewards|Reward Me NOW!!!

The Rain [08 Oct 2004|09:50am]
This is for Dustin:

The rain has come to wash away your pain
insane, the way it pours when ere it rains
It's plain that on your soul appears a stain
restrain this urge to give it up again

And though the stream of lava starts to flow
i know the floods will follow as you go
to flow and ebb and wash this pain below
and show the path to where you'll heal and grow

i'm sure that you will come to love once more
restore this happiness you felt before
before the winter left you on the floor
before the numb set in to kill you more

Reward Me NOW!!!

[07 Oct 2004|11:21pm]
[ mood | numb ]

So, I'm here, awake, at an ungodly hour of the night. why? do you you ask? well, let me tell you. I won't go into detail, because it's none of your damn business, but it has to do w/ my family, and my brother. I'm sure he'll be ok. It's just weird right now, I feel weird, and i think i have to poo, but i'm not sure. i'm freezing my ass off right now, but for some reason, I don't really care. and the odd thing is, i was tired, like, two hours ago, and now, I know that I couldn't sleep if i tried. i used that dandruff shampoo, as directed, tonight, and it was awesome. It was like putting vapor rub on my head, except not so gooey, and I did it twice like it said, and it said to do it twice a week, so I think i'll reserve it for tuesday and thursday. I need to get my life straight. My brother has been the best role model, except in a backward manner. He's the one you look up to when you want to know what not to do. I love my brother a lot, and we've been through some shit, and now he's going through some shit, i just hope he recovers. I know he'll be ok, physically, but the way he is, he just shuts himself down to the world. From him, I derive all knowledge, a lot of my opinions, I find, I base on his. I hate to admit it, but in a lot of ways, we are alike. but then again, in a lot of ways we're different. I wish I could talk to bernadette right now, but I know calling her would be pointless. i guess it's not that big of a deal anyway. I just feel like shit right now. I don't often think about what my brother has done for me, usually I think about what he's put me through and the negatives. But when you weigh it out, he's done more good than bad to me. he's taught me a lot. I could almost call him my idol. he'll be down on sunday to see the show. maybe it'll help take his mind off of stuff. who knows. It'll be good to see him, and my mom again. I need to talk to her, since I never call her. You never really know how much you care for people until they're not there anymore. The truest thing in the world. that's why i constantly tell bernadette how i feel about her, and let her know in any way possible that i feel that way, because, what if, tommorow, I'm not there, or she's not there, or something happens that makes it impossible for us to be together? On tuesday, we will have been dating for seven months, that's more than twice as long as i've ever dated anyone. I'm easily annoyed by people. that's just my character. but she doesn't annoy me. when I think about it, she's my drive. She's the reason I want to be good at stuff, anything, as long as it makes me better for her. people don't understand us. we're so in love, that we look like friends, but there's something so much deeper involved. when i think about it, i know, i could live with her, every day, for the rest of my life, and nothing would make me happier. I could die poor, cripple and blind, but if she was with me, i would feel fulfilled. it's kind of odd how easy things get lost. especially important things. oh sure, you can remember that you left your pack of gum on the counter, but your shoes are never anywhere to be found. its the same way with everything, you can lose track of time, you can forget people who were vital in getting you to where you are now, and through it all, you just keep building a huge pile of regrets. the list almost never ends...kind of like this entry. i think i'll kill this dead journal, and end this entry. and for those of you who don't read very closely, no, my brother's not dead, nobody died.


1 Glorious Reward|Reward Me NOW!!!

d,mfnvlknanvglasdfjlakjflnavna;ovln [07 Oct 2004|12:20pm]
[ mood | apathetic ]

well, updating I am today, everybody seems to be pissed off at something, except me and bernadette, and god only knows what she's thinking about right now...I'm sleepy, among other things, I almost skipped first period today, but I decided not to, because I figured we'd actually learn something today. So I went to class, and it turns out that we did actually learn something!! Elijah got screwed, cuz he decided to stay in bed, so now he has no clue what we went over today...great he just rubbed my nipples, now I'm horny. he has the stupidest background in the world. Blah blah blah blah, I can't really think of anything to say, bernadette seems weird today, so I'm hoping everything's ok. I hope she's ok, cuz I love her a lot.


3 Glorious Rewards|Reward Me NOW!!!

[05 Oct 2004|09:07pm]
[ mood | scared shitless ]

It's eleven at night, and I can't sleep. Bernadette has long gone to sleep, and my roommate is also catching some z's. I'm bored as hell, and can't decide what to do. I'm thinking about taking a shower, but that may serve only to wake me up further, and I can take a shower tommorow during study break. I'm thinking about peeing, but i don't feel like going into the bathroom, cuz my suitemates might try to drag me into some kind of conversation with them about why every door to my room has been locked since eight o clock. I'm wondering whether or not I'm going to pass my algebra test which I didn't study for. I wonder if I should even be here. I'm too fucking lazy to do anything. I do most of my drama assignments, but I never study, I don't clean my room ( I do, but my roommate just likes to leave peices of his projects LYING ON THE FLOOR!!!), I'm trying to work on it, but I don't know, maybe I'll never do what I want to do, cuz that shit is hard work, and if this is a measure of how hard I'll work at anything, my life will soon turn to shit, and then stay there and ferment and grow little fungus hair things out of it while maggots hatch inside of my oozing hottity. I hope I do better next nine weeks. I plan to work harder, but God only knows what to expect. I never was very good at keeping my word...I should probably work on that too. I've been so lazy that everything is finally beginning to catch up to me. Where do I go next? College, I don't know shit about college. I don't know how to get into college, how the hell I'm gonna pay for an out-of-state college, whether or not I'll even make it into a college I want, what scholarships are available, "would it were bed time and all these affairs were over and done with." oh yeah, and ratcliffe might as well be my eleventh fucking finger over here. Joseph's depressed and I haven't been able to get in touch with him. I really want to talk to him, but I can't. I don't even know if he knows that I really want to talk to him. what a great friend I have been to everyone I have ever called a friend. and what a great loser I have been ever since i beat everyone else to the egg.


2 Glorious Rewards|Reward Me NOW!!!

[05 Oct 2004|02:15pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

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...and that, is the secret to the universe!

2 Glorious Rewards|Reward Me NOW!!!

Moby [04 Oct 2004|08:30pm]
[ mood | horny as hell ]

Today was cool. I felt good when I woke up, had oatmeal and other junk for lunch, then made a one hundred on my U.S. History (AP) test...which, by the way, Bernadette got an 85 on!!! muahahahahahahahaeeee!!! And then she tried to kill herself over it, so I had to step in and put a stop to that shit, because I love her, so I carved the word stop into my arm. that stopped her. damn straight. moby is quite awake at the moment, and my thoughts wander to weekends before...and she's not helping by rubbing my ear. I think moby's gonna blow. whoops, there he goes. gotta go change, no don't stop!!! there we go. anywho, life's good, I feel good, Bernadette feels good, Moby feels good, Moby feels good....Moby..feels good, and all is well in the land of the arts.


3 Glorious Rewards|Reward Me NOW!!!

oiyg ;ofjafkljkjfd aodifoapvijq09e- [01 Oct 2004|03:07pm]
[ mood | thirsty for milk ]

my first.... entryq8349ihfaosfu893 3q838

1 Glorious Reward|Reward Me NOW!!!

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